Death By Chocolate
By PrissyKissy
A submission for the Kill Navarre contest sponsored by the TCE/ATA Fan Club
Based on characters from Among the Ashes by Callistohime and WishIWould

Navarre stood in line at the Exotic Treats shop in Tren.  The day was unbearably hot, and the line for those in need of ice cream stretched out the door and down the sidewalk almost half a block.  The Sentei didn’t want to call too much attention to himself, so instead of obliterating everyone in front of him, like he wanted to do, he waited, sweat pouring off his face.  Finally, it was his turn.  He’d been standing in line for nearly an hour, staring at the menu board above the counter, yet he still hadn’t made up his mind.  

“What’s that one?” he asked, pointing to a tub of icy green goodness speckled with black dots.

“Mint chocolate chip,” the man behind the counter replied.

“What about…….that one?” Navarre inquired as he gestured with his head toward a flavor that was the color of the sunset; pink, orange, and yellow.

“Rainbow sherbet with strawberry, orange, and lemon.  Now hurry up, man; make up your mind.  I got people waiting.”

“Okay; fine.  What about this one over here?”

“Oh, that’s been a hot seller today.  It’s called Death By Chocolate.  It’s chocolate ice cream with milk chocolate chunks, bittersweet chocolate chips, white chocolate shavings, and a chocolate ganache swirl.”

“Mmmm…...” Navarre said.  He was really hungry, and it was hard to be evil on an empty stomach.  “I think I’ll take that one.  In fact, I’ll take three scoops; in a chocolate waffle cone.”

“Oooooh…..buddy, you really lucked out on that one.  This is our last chocolate waffle cone……” the owner leaned over to scoop ice cream from the bucket; one scoop, two……and the very last bit made three, “and that’s all the ice cream.”  Behind him, Navarre heard several people groan in disappointment, and a little boy began to cry.  Better luck next time, losers, he thought.

“What?!”  A female voice several spots behind the Sentei burst out above the chaos created by the shop owner’s announcement that the day’s most popular combination had just been sold out.  Three snaps followed; one brought the woman to Navarre’s side, one snapped his neck as she broke it, and one took her behind the counter, where she took the ice cream cone  from the startled shopkeeper, dropping a blue rupee on the counter and saying “Keep the change” before she disappeared again, this time for good.

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Several minutes later, Link  was walking back to the hotel from the general store, annoyed with the snail’s pace of the two women in front of him, who were chattering excitedly about some mundane…..

He snapped to attention when the willowy redhead said, “And then she just……disappeared with a snapping sound.  The next thing I knew, he was on the floor, dead, and she’d snapped herself behind the counter and taken the poor man’s ice cream!”  She sighed, then said, “Such a shame, too; he was really handsome,” then went on to describe a man who sounded almost identical  the Sentei that had attacked Link and Roy on the bridge, causing the latter to die.  Twice.

“Oh, that’s so awful!” her silver-haired companion responded.  “This town is just getting worse and worse; you couldn’t…….” But Link had already turned the other way.

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“Zelda!” Link said as he walked into the hotel room he shared with his wife. She was stretched out on the bed,  both pillows propping her from behind her as she leaned back against the headboard.

“Yes?” she replied lazily before taking a leisurely lick of ice cream.  Chocolate.  On a chocolate cone.

“Where did you get the ice cream?” he asked, climbing on the bed to sit beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“Uh….from the….ice cream shop?”  she said, then teased  him by saying, “I used to have the Triforce of Wisdom, remember?  That’s how I knew where to go.”

“Funny,” he said, rolling his eyes, though he followed up by placing a kiss on her chin..  “What I mean is, what did you do to get the ice cream?  Did you, just by chance……kill the Sentei that’s been tracking us since we left Aritia?”

“Oh, um…..yeah, actually.  I really hate him anyway, but…..he tried to take the last chocolate waffle cone and the last of the Death By Chocolate ice cream!” she whined, only half-jokingly.

“What?”  Link laughed.  “It’s actually called ‘Death By Chocolate?”

“Uh huh,” she said, then smiled impishly.  “Do you think that’s what the coroner will put on his death certificate?”  Link laughed so hard he fell off the bed.

“What’s so funny?” Roy asked as he barged into the room.  He was followed by Elice, Marth, and Ciara.  All of them stared at Link, now rolling on the floor, as if he’d lost his mind. “Hey….I wonder if there’s a minibar in our room, too,” Roy said, his face lighting up.

“You are such an idiot,” Elice told him, smacking him upside the head.  Roy rubbed his noggin and made a childishly pouty face at the blue-haired young woman.

“Hylians,” Marth muttered, shaking his head in disbelief that anything could possibly be that funny.

“Zelda, what is it?  Why is your husband laughing like a lunatic?  You have to tell us.” Ciara demanded, dying to know what was funny enough to make Link lose it like he had.

“Well……I have good news.  The Sentei that’s been following us?  He’s dead.”
Every jaw dropped in disbelief, and all four sets of eyes looked as if they’d pop out of their respective owners’ heads.  Finally, Ciara regained the ability to speak.

Are…..are you…..sure….he’s …..dead?”  Her pale skin became stark white,  and Marth barely managed to catch her as she fainted.

This brought Link to his senses.  He helped Marth move the pale blonde to the bed, and Zelda, finished with her ice cream, got up to give the unconscious young woman more room.

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When Ciara opened her eyes moments later, she saw more concern on the faces of the five surrounding her than she’d seen in the entirity of the first twenty-odd years of her young life.  Marth held her left hand in his and said, “Are you all right?”

“Sure, Sunshine; never been better,” she said weakly, then to the group as a whole, “Sorry about that; guess finally getting rid of that creep is a little more excitement than I know how to handle.”

“Zelda, you said you’re sure he’s dead.  How do you know that?” Marth asked.

“Well…….I was sort of there when it happened.  At the ice cream shop.” The Hylian princess replied.

“So what happened?  Did  he cut in line or something?”  Elice smacked Roy’s head again.  “Ow…..would you stop doing that?”

“Sure…..when you stop asking stupid questions,” she responded.

“Well, how am I supposed to find out anything if I don’t ask questions?  I swear, nobody ever tells me anything……”
  
“Shut up….both of you.” Marth told them.  “I apologize for their rudeness, Zelda.  Please continue.”

“Well….I was in line at the ice cream shop.  When the Sentei stepped up to order, I immediately recognized him, and for a minute I thought of leaving.  But this little guy,” she rubbed her ever-growing belly lightly, her eyes awash with a motherly glow, “wouldn’t let me.  At first, he; the Sentei, not the baby” she clarified in order to save Roy from another assualt by the Aritian princess, “asked all kinds of questions about the different flavors, and then he finally chose a chocolate waffle cone and three scoops of Death by Chocolate ice cream…..”

“Aha!”   Roy interrupted.  “So it was the ice cream that killed him.”

Elice rolled her eyes, “Why do I even put up with you?”

“Because you love my rock-hard abs and fiery red hair and you want to…..Owwwwww!  That really hurt!  I’m gonna have a bruise now!” Roy said, rubbing his arm where Elice had punched him.

“If you two don’t stop, I am going to throw both of you overboard as soon as we’re out on the open sea,” Marth threatened.  “Now….Zelda…..as you were.”

“So, the Sentei had just ordered the last chocolate cone and the last of the sensory euphoria that is Death By Chocolate ice cream, and……I kind of lost it,” she said sheepishly.

“What?  You killed him?” Ciara said, fully alert now.

“Yes….I killed him, and then I took his ice cream.”  She crossed her arms and said haughtily, “And I’m not sorry I did it; I’d do it again in a heartbeat, and ……Oh Link, what have I done?” she said, bursting into tears as her husband moved toward her, taking the princess in his arms and kissing her hair.

“You’ve done a good thing, Zel.  He almost killed me and he did kill Roy for awhile, and now maybe we can have an easier passage to Valor now.  Don’t cry, babe.  It’s okay.”

They had all gotten used to Zelda’s pregnancy-induced mood swings and knew it was best just to let them run their course; that she would recover and return to normal soon.  Sure enough, after several minutes of cuddling with Link, while he talked to her softly and rubbed her constantly-aching lower back with gentle strokes, she had composed herself and was smiling again.

“So you killed him……for ice cream?” Ciara asked incredulously as she sat up.  And you’re sure he’s dead?”

“Uh huh; I broke his neck so that it severed a major artery.  He’s as dead as they come.” Zelda replied proudly, her burst of conscience over killing the evil one seemingly forgotten.

“Zelda….I’m not saying it’s a bad thing you killed him by any means, but……won’t be police be looking for you?” Elice asked.

Marth added, “Yeah; they’re already watching every breath we take; every move we make; every….”

“We get it, man.  Gee, Licey, why don’t you ever smack him when he says something stupid like that?”  Roy grumbled.

“Because I can….hey, is that a fairy?” she said  seemingly offhandedly,a devilish smirk plastered on her face.

“Where?  Keep it away from me!” Marth exclaimed as he dove under the bed.

Everyone else in the room laughed and Ciara said, “Oh Sunshine, you are too easy!”  Then she said, in a voice one might use with a child, “Does wittle Marfy-Warfy need me to protect him from the big, bad fairy-wairies?”

“Shut up, Ma…Ciara,” he quickly corrected, having almost called her by her real name, Manasa.  He crawled out from under the bed and said with a sigh, “Zelda, I’m serious; from what you say, that shop was packed; there must have been at least twenty people who witnessed what happened.  So what are we going to do if the police come after you?  They don’t know he’s a Se… um, that he’s…..well, was, pure unadulterated evil,” he said, making it clear that he did not think every Sentei, such as Manasa, deserved to be murdered with no consequences placed on the killer.  “They could try to get you for murder, or at least…….”

“Well, first of all, I know the ways of the Sheikah; I can hide if anyone actually cares enough to investigate.  If by some chance they do find me, I’ll tell them that I had to have it for health reasons.”  She rubbed her belly again, a smile on her lips.

“Oh yeah; the old, ‘the baby made me do it’ defense.  Classic,” Link said sarcastically, though he ruffled her hair playfully.
   
“Well, it’s not my fault this little Moblin’s a chocoholic; he gets that from you,” she said, kissing the tip of his nose.

“Oh, really?  On what grounds do you base that assumption?” he asked, raising one eyebrow questioningly, an expression that cracked her up.  They continued discussing Zelda’s ‘defense’ if she was ever accused of killing Navarre, and the others soon tuned them out.

“They are so weird,” Marth said, rolling his eyes at the couple’s playful banter.

“Ah, you’re just jealous that you aren’t all lovey-dovey happy,” Elice said.  The winds had shifted so now, instead of attacking Roy, she stood with her arms around him.  “Come on, Big Red, let’s go.  You said you had something to ask me later……..”

“Um……yeah………ok,” Roy said, feeling in his pocket for the engagement ring he’d bought just a few days earlier as he followed Elice out of Link and Zelda’s room before heading to his own to prepare for what he hoped would turn out to be a special night he and Elice would remember for the rest of their lives.

“Well, Sunshine, looks like it’s just you and me,” Ciara said to Marth as they, too moved toward the door.   “Let’s leave these two lovebirds alone and get out of here.  I’ve suddenly got this overwhelming urge to go out and celebrate.”

“Good deal,” the prince said, placing his hand on her elbow and sliding it down, briefly squeezing her wrist before entwining his fingers with hers.

And for the first time since she was sixteen, the touch did not make her feel one bit threatened.